3 Weeks Old!

What an exciting week we have had. At least for me it’s been full of exciting moments. Over the past week:

-------We bought a car!!!!!! The first car that Zed and I bought together (7+years ago) bit the dust. We knew that with these additions to the family our little sedan wasn’t going to cut it anymore, so we’ve been prepping and saving for a while now to help us buy a bigger car when I finally had more kids to put in it. Well, right after Zed returned home this summer our car’s transmission gave up. It was going to be about $3500 to repair, and our car was estimated at about $3500. So since we were in the market for a new car any way we went ahead and sold our car to the auto shop owner for cheap and have been using one of my parents’ cars ever since.

Until last week. Zed and I have both done some research on vehicles over the last few months. Zed has really invested himself in car research lately, he’s kind of awesome. Well the car that fit the most requirements on both of our lists (okay, so really I’m the picky one and Zed mostly just wanted me to be happy without killing our bank account) is our new Chevrolet Traverse. I haven’t gotten to drive it much, but I like it.

Otis was disappointed it wasn’t brown (his favorite color some days) but RED was the next best thing for this kid. Mr J was disappointed that it didn’t have magic doors (automatic sliding mini van doors) or a TV that came down from the ceiling. He was appeased though when Zed explained that this car is great to take camping, and then proceeded to promise the boys a camping trip before school starts this week. They went out last night and I figure they had a blast.

-----I finally got to drive for the first time in MONTHS!!!!!! It's not like it really felt all that weird or different, it just felt great to FINALLY have that level of independence back. That's been my favorite part. I don't actually like driving. In high school I taught my friends how to drive a stick shift so that they would want to practice in my car and I wouldn't have to drive around. I love being chauffeured around--I'm high maintenance like that. But it has been really nice to have an element of independence again. 

-------Will broke the 4 lb mark!!!!! Mike is only a few ounces behind him, but breaking into the 4 pounds is kind of a big deal in the NICU. You can buy special infant car seats that are rated for 4lbs, so that is one requirement for being released that we can check off our list! Both these boys have jumped up their feeding amounts this past week. They are chowing down every few hours. They both eat more than 1oz, which is a big deal since they took several days before they could eat 3mL (there are 30mL in an ounce). They are eating tons and it is fantastic!

Zed came back to visit one night after he brought the boys back home. He was soooooooooo tired, but still wanted to come with me to see our babies. He and Mike had a nice little nap together. Pretty much one of the sweetest moments ever.

-------Yesterday when I went in Will had graduated. His beds lid had been lifted! They are in the beds that have the lids to keep the warmth in while the babies learn how to regulate their own temperatures. Yesterday the nurse decided that Will was doing a pretty good job and graduated him on up. She put him in his first shirt, swaddled him, put on his cute little hat, and he was doing great with keeping his own body temperature up! While I was there the nurse also graduated Mike in the same way.

I finally got to see my sweet boys face! Will is very handsome.

------Also new yesterday was the biggest, greatest thing yet: Will’s air tubes were out!!!! He was totally breathing great on his own. I could see his whole face!!! The last couple of days Will had a smaller tube in so that they were still pumping humidity in his nose, but it wasn’t really giving him any help with his breathing at that point. So yesterday they took it out and he was doing fantastic! Once the breathing tubes were out it was so easy for me to pick Will up all by myself. I still had to get help to get Mike out yesterday, but TODAY Mike was free from his air tubes too!! I can see both sweet handsome little faces so well! They are both still attached to little heart monitors and have feeding tubes in their noses but those wires are easy to move while I picked up my baby.

Will was a very happy and alert baby when I left the hospital tonight.

-------My babies got moved on Sunday so that they are “sharing” a room! Technically they are in 2 separate rooms, but it is just a curtain that separates them, so we’ve left it open and the boys are only a handful of feet from each other. I love it. I got to be there while they were moving the boys and I thought it was about the coolest thing ever! I love going to visit them and seeing one while holding the other. I can walk back and forth from one to the other without ever leaving the room. It makes me a pretty happy mama!

Mike is also a very handsome boy. I love looking at their sweet faces. Mike was snoozing pretty hard after his first ride.

------Today they moved even beyond sharing a room though. This morning someone at the hospital had triplets and the NICU was officially full. I got called this morning requesting consent to transfer my sweet little warriors to an affiliate hospital that is has a lower level NICU. Doing this opens up beds needed for more serious infants. Bright note: my babies are cruising along in their progress and were prime candidates for a lower leveled NICU. The only real reason I had to hold back my consent was that the hospital they wanted to send my boys to is pretty much as far across the valley as possible from my mom’s house. In the end I gave consent for the transfer. Even now, after it’s all over, I feel torn about it. I’m not one bit concerned about the kind of care my babies will receive. I’m entirely self-absorbed and am more concerned about the changes this has for me. I just told Zed that it will take me a few days of driving to Timbuktu and meeting the new nurses, getting acquainted with the  new set up before I’m ok with things again. This hospital is smaller. The NICU here normally only has 4-6 babies, it is significantly quieter than the other hospital. And it is set up in a much more open setting, no rooms. It’s weird for me, but only because I’m a hormonal mess and am not currently accepting change very well. I’m rational enough to recognize this at least.

---OH YEAH! The boys had their first car rides today! In an ambulance even. They are pretty cool kids. They each had their own ambulance ride complete with nurses and a respiratory specialist. They were so well taken care of and are impressing us through every single day.

The 3 biggest milestones that the boys have to hit before being released are

1.       Breathing on their own (Will checked that one off)

2.       Regulating body temperatures (both boys were rocking that one last night)

3.       Being able to eat (suck, swallow, & breath) on their own. This skill is not likely to be mastered prior to 34weeks gestation. So today they are 34 weeks gestation, so I’m hoping that this week we can start trying these guys on the bottle. We’ve been offering them pacifiers since they were born to try and encourage them to suck and breathe successfully. Sometimes we would put a tiny bit of milk on the pacifier at feeding times so that they would start to associate the taste of the milk, with sucking on something, and getting food in their stomachs. The big test will be when we can try the bottle and see how they do with adding swallowing in there.

Otis' very best friend is this Bear. It is absolutely the sweetest thing ever.

              Last week we had Mr J and Otis down for a few days. I loved it. I miss them so much. I miss being a family, and being a part of their upbringing. It’s so hard to have not been with them these last few months and know that they have grown and learned so many things that I was not a part of. Mr J starts kindergarten tomorrow and I’ll not be there. But I am so very excited for him. He is excited beyond description. He is so social I’ve no doubt that he will love every minute of school. Otis doesn’t start preschool for a few more weeks, but he is pretty excited to. I am totally just looking forward to the day when I can bring my kids to school and pick them up. When I’m the one they’ll be telling about their day to. I’ll get hugs and kisses everyday again. And then, with all my boys around me, I will be overwhelmed with love. Love for each sweet son of mine being all together. Love they have for one another. Love from my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such amazing, tender, and courageous warrior sons. There is no question at the stress and turmoil each of us had endured this year. I am so proud of my boys for how well they have adjusted and accepted the trials this year has brought to them. It’s been hard on them, but I am so grateful for the family and friends and neighbors who have lent helping hands to make it easier for my boys. You have been blessings in my life.

Mr J wore mis matched PJs and thought he was pretty funny. I love this sweet boy. I can hardly believe that he is starting KINDERGARTEN tomorrow!!!!!!!! It's crazy that he is that old! Love him.

                I know that my Heavenly Father set aside this experience for Zed and I. These sweet tiny babies were designed for our family. This was a series of experiences that HE knew we needed to have. There were so many things that we needed to learn. I’m hoping we have learned what we needed to up to this point. I’m hoping that all of us are stronger for this, I know I am. I feel weak sometimes still, but when I review the last 6 months as a whole I feel stronger for having had this crazy experience. I understand so many things I never even imagined before. I am simply in awe.

My 2 Families

These boys are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!! Will and Mike are now 2 weeks old and are making great progress. They simply amaze me. In the last week both boys have continued gaining weight and have increased their feedings about 10times. The boys have gone back and forth a little in their progress, but as a whole they continue to move forward.

Zed and Will

Zed and I have gone in to see our boys every day of this past week. It has been my happy place. I always hold at least one of my boys. I have to even out how much I hold each of my babies. If I hold Mike one day then the next day I make sure that I hold Will. My general preference is to stay at the hospital long enough to hold both boys. Some days I’ll let Zed hold someone, but most days he is kind enough to sit with me and chat while I hold one of the boys. I have absolutely loved my times holding these sweet guys.

Me and Mike

Zed and I are starting to notice small differences in the twins to tell them apart. Sometimes it is as simple as knowing what stickers the nurses use on the boys or which arm their PIC line is in. But we are also noticing physical differences. We are hoping that by time they get to come home will we be able to easily tell you which one is Mike and which is Will. Also, right now they are in separate rooms, not even next to each other. So when we get to see them next to each other we are feeling more confident that we will notice their individual features. It’s kind of fun to see as they grow their distinguishing features.

Mike at 2 Weeks

This week we have Mr. J and Otisdown here with us. I am SOO incredibly happy. I have loved spending time with them. Singing bedtime songs again; morning snuggles (when Grandma’s door is still closed); puzzles; movies. I’m especially loving listening to Otis talk. His speech has been improving and increasing by leaps and bounds over the past 8 months, but I LOVE listening to him now as I am understanding more and his vocabulary is increasing. Mr. J is getting ready to start kindergarten next week. He is so excited to start and I am thrilled to get to spend some of his last days of summer with him.

Over the last week Mike has gone from eating 3mL per feeding to eating 30mL per feeding. He now weighs 3lb 9oz and was taken off of his TPN (supplemental nutrition). Mike has been doing so well on his eating that his PIC line has actually been removed. Both boys are still eating with a tube, but hopefully next week we will be able to start trying to feed with a bottle. They still need to learn to eat that way, and at 34 weeks is when most babies have the ability to “suck, swallow and breath” (basically eat without choking and breath at the same time).

Mike Smiling

Will still has his PIC line, but has graduated from his TPN to just receiving what was basically described to us as sugar water. His feedings have increased from 3mL to 25mL today. He was eating 30mL yesterday, but wasn’t doing well with that amount, so they lowered it. Will now weighs 3lb 13oz. Yesterday while I was holding Will he was awake absolutely the entire time. I loved getting to see him be alert and wriggling around with me. It was just fantastic to see him acting like a “regular” baby. AWESOME!!!

Will Checking Things Out

I am just so happy with their progress. There are still a lot of things that these boys need to do before they are ready to come home. We plan on being here several more weeks. These guys are stealing the hearts of all the nurses working with them. They absolutely steal everyone’s hearts.

Will Sleeping at 2 Weeks

So with having Mr J and Otis here I totally feel like I have 2 families. I have my family with my older boys that I’m accustomed to; this is my “home family”. Then I’ve got my family with my new babies; this is my “hospital family”. It feels so weird to feel split between two parts of my family. It makes me more anxious for Mike and Will to be home so that I can feel like we are one whole big family again!

One Week!

So today I was supposed to be having my c-section and meeting my babies for the first time. Instead, my sweet boys are a week old! I am so blessed really. As much pain as I am currently in, I’d much rather deal with that than be in the constant state of not knowing exactly what was going on with these little guys. We are able to know what these boys are up to, how they are really doing, treat them for anything they need to be treated for. There is so much more peace of mind now that they are here in the NICU.

My first time holding Mike!!!!! One of the BEST moments of my entire life. Makes me cry just remembering it!

Partial family picture with Mike

 On Saturday I was discharged from the hospital. Let me tell you, that was amazing! But even better than leaving the hospital that I’d lived at for almost a full 8 weeks, was that before I actually left I got to hold each of my new sons!!!!!!!!! We haven’t been able to hold them because they had umbilical lines in (lines/tubes that were inserted through the remaining umbilical cord stump; used for IVs and stuff). Really, there were just too many wires for us to be able to hold them. Later in the week they removed one of the two umbilical lines and on Saturday our NICU nurse carefully wrapped up each baby in blankets so that their wires were all in place and let me hold the sweet babies, basically for as long as I wanted. It was so wonderful!!!

When we are at the NICU the boys are on a schedule. Right now they are on 3 hour schedules, so every 3 hours they get vitals checked, diapers changed, and fed. This is the time that we get to really see the babies being alert. Sometimes they will wake up when we are in visiting, we can hold their little hands and be gentle while they lie in bed. But during these “care times” they usually wake up and are alert to what is going on. The lids of their beds are lifted to do the cares and we get to have a little more interaction—usually in the form of changing their diapers. I have never EVER been more grateful for diaper changes in my life. Their teeny little bodies are so awkward to move for their changes, especially with wires and tubes in their little beds, but getting the chances to TOUCH and really handle my babies is such a huge blessing. I just love these guys so very much!!

Will's body is the size of my hand

So for the updates…. Both boys have been taken off of their lights (the ones used for jaundice). They naturally had lost weight last week, but are back to gaining weight now. Mike was 3lb 5oz when he was born, lost a few ounces, but started gaining again yesterday and is now up to 3lb3oz. Will was 3lb 10oz at birth, also lost a few ounces, and started gaining weight yesterday bringing him up to 3lb 7oz. The first few days after delivery Mike was so active, always waving his little arms around; while Will was much more calm. Over the weekend they traded a little and according to the nurse who has been on the last 4 days with these guys, Will is the feisty one lately and Mike is more calm.

 

Zed holding Will

Both boys had their umbilical lines removed and now have PIC lines in. I had a PIC line the last 5 weeks in the hospital and I thought it was great compared to the alternative. The PIC line is a central line/tube fed into their arms where they can get their IVs. It’s more long term than IV ports and umbilical lines. Mike and Will got their first little sponge baths yesterday. And today they had ultrasounds of their heads. The head ultrasounds is just standard procedure that they do at 1 week and again at I think 4weeks. They use the ultrasound to look for bleeding in the brain area. Will’s looked clear, but Mike’s ultrasound showed a possible bleed. It was pretty small and possibly not a bleed, but the doctor wanted to have the radiologist take a look anyway, and we haven’t heard from him. The doctor and nurse (which we LOVE the nurse that we have had with the boys for the last few days) did explain that if it is a bleed on his brain that it is small enough that it is very likely to resolve on its own. We will wait to hear if it’s anything to be concerned about, but we aren’t worried yet. They will both have follow ups in a few weeks so we will learn more on that later.

These babies are such little troopers. They amaze me everyday. They are doing so very well! I absolutely love them—I know that seems like such a “duh” statement, but every mother can understand. I knew I would love these babies. I wanted them so much, needed them even. But having these sweet boys here it amazes me how much more love I have to share with them and still love Otis and Mr J so much. I love all my boys and it just feels great to have so much love spread out through them all, and it’s not any less for any of them. They are great.

Zed and Mike

On Sunday we Skyped with Mr. J and Otis while we were visiting Mike and Will. The big boys were pretty excited to see their little brothers. Otis is still pretty convinced that Ninja Turtle names are better than Mike and Will. After Zed showed off the twins a little I asked Otis what his brothers’ names were…you know, test his knowledge. He responded with “Raph and Leo”. I said “How about Mike and Will?” He just told me “No. Raph and Leo”. This kid, I tell you what. Zed thought he would trick Otis and asked “OK, which of the twins is Leo?” Otis told us “the first one”. HAHAHA. If it weren’t for the fact that when Zed first showed them each baby Otis joined Mr J in saying “Hi Will” and “Hi Mike” I’d worry that he really didn’t know that we’d named the babies something different than a Ninja Turtle name.  

Mike

I’m recovering from surgery pretty nicely now. Every day is a major workout. When I wake up in the night and mornings Zed literally has to help me up because I have absolutely no core/ab muscles to work with yet. Every night I can feel my muscles in my legs and arms and especially my abs start to tighten up….like they would the evening after a great morning workout. The following morning is always really slow going before I loosen up. There is a lot of pain and recovery because of having a c-section. Being sliced open is not to be taken lightly. But I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more work to do from being on bed rest for so long.

 

Me getting to snuggle with Will

Today we spent tons of time holding the babies. They are a week old. I am so shocked by that fact. They are week old babies. Their feet are as long as my pinkie. Their lower legs are as long as my middle finger, and their bodies are about the size of my hand from base to finger tips. They are amazing blessings. I am so grateful for them. Their little spirits are shining through everyday. Heavenly Father knows that this experience is something that Zed and I needed. It’s hard to see these little guys just be so little, but we have learned so much, especially about depending and relying on God through this whole ordeal. It’s not over yet, we know this. But having such a smooth transition has been another great blessing for us. Miracles are real. We have a loving, caring and involved Heavenly Father who is truly invested in our lives and experiences. I am so blessed to simply have this knowledge. I am happy to have a faith, a belief in eternity and in deity.  

Will was wide awake after his diaper change. Love these sweet little faces!!!!!!

 

The Babes

So I was reminded again that we haven't done an update on the babies except that THEY ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which in and of itself is amazing. We have had so many nurses come in to congratulate us who have worked with me over that last 7 weeks. We've shown almost all of them the picture of the infamous umbilical cords and they reiterate to us how much a miracle it is to have these 2 sweeties with us!

So here is a little of the big delivery to start. I woke up on Tuesday to use the bathroom a little before I was supposed to monitor. As I was getting out of bed I had an accident and was frustrated. Used the bathroom got cleaned up and we did my regular monitoring. It wasn't until after monitoring that we realized it was my water that had broken and not an accident. I mean, I'm pregnant, I hadn't used the bathroom in like 6 hours, I was getting up as it all happened, so really there was no reason for me to think that my water broke, but plenty of reasons to think that I'd peed all over. After monitoring I leaked a little again, and as I was getting ready for the day I just kept having little tiny leaks, so we finally called the nurse. It was during shift change actually so I made Zed (who thankfully had slept here that night) get the charge nurse to come down since I didn't know yet who my day nurse was. She confirmed that my water broke and the day turned crazy immediately.

After realizing that we were about to have babies we quickly got in our very last maternity pictures of me at 31 weeks.

So Zed thinks it's hilarious how my maternity shirts didn't cover my belly anymore

He also was always super impressed at how big my actual belly was.

We got a hold of my doctor who made it very clear that this was an emergency c-section and we needed to get into the O.R. ASAP. The risks we were facing were that 

1- I was going to begin active labor. Since I'd been having contractions for a week+ anyway, having my water break could put me into active labor and could compromise the babies' health with a tear to the blood vessels with the Vasa Previa.

2- With less fluid in the sac the cords are a lot more likely to compress quickly and begin to cut off blood flow to one or both babies.

We needed to deliver, and it needed to be immediately. 

Zed, all ready to assist!

I got to see both boys after their initial assessments and then they were whisked away to the NICU

Ok, so this is super gross, but so many people are interested. It is the cords after delivery. There are 2 actual knots and everything else was completely twisted. This is after it was placed in a bucket and my DR retrieved it to lay on the table for pictures. but all of the cords that aren't in those 2 knots was just twisted around each other. CRAZY

 So as for delivery it was incredibly fast. I was wheeled into the O.R., got my spinal (ps, it's not the same as an epidural and is super painful to get), and then we got right to it. Zed said there were about 11 people in this teeny tiny operating room. We had 2 NICU teams and then the few people that we needed for me. From the time the nurse knew my water had broke to the time we had babies was less than an hour.

So Tuesday morning I got my two boys. Amazingly healthy, considering their young age.

Mike was born first and weighed 3lb 5oz, Will came out at 3lb 10oz. They were technically born at the same time on the clock, with a 25second difference. Legally we had to change Will to the minute after so that the computers could differentiate. Having two baby boys with the same last name born at the same time was causing troubles with technology I guess.

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to recover. Zed went down to spend time with the boys as much as possible while still being here for me. I was slow to recover from the spinal and the meds. But late that night I was finally able to stand without feeling like passing out so they let me take a wheelchair down to see my babies.

Mike, he has about as much hair as Zed

Will

Mike. He seemed more mellow before birth, but since then he is almost always moving and active when we visit him.

Will is a lot more mellow since coming out to the world. He is a little bigger than his brother, but is also a sweet little thing.

I had some time with Will while he had his eyes open. I love when they are a little more alert, but no matter what they always are listening and responding to our touches.

Will

Will's tiny foot. Both boys are under their today to get their bilirubin numbers better.

Will with his mask on.

Mike has his mask on and is waving to all of his fans. He is going to have such a fun personality I think.

Mike's tiny foot. His were the feet that kept hanging out in my ribs the last couple of weeks.

I also got a picture with Mike's little hand in mine. Both boys love to hold our hands. It's pretty much my favorite too.

These boys are doing great right now with the help of the constant NICU nurses, doctors, and specialists. They are eating with feeding tubes and they will be getting stronger.

We are so so so grateful for the prayers on our behalf and for our little ones. I know that Heavenly Father has been looking out for these guys so closely. He loves them. There is such peace around these sweet spirits. I am so grateful to have them here in such great health. I thank my God for his willingness to let Zed and I care for these 2 amazing boys. 

Zed and I are super busy now. We try to keep up on our rest, but it's been rough. He is up with me to help me with the equipment when I pump every few hours. He delivers it to the NICU for me and cleans the equipment. We also try to spend time with each baby in the NICU. Plus eating meals. Other than that we try to grab some ZZzz's but we are super busy. We will get back to updating you on these little miracles when we get some more opportunities!!