Side Notes

So there are just a few other things that I want to bring up that are not directly related to my recent doctors appointment, but I didn't want to write a super long post this time. So if you just wanted to know how my appointment this week went, feel free to keep on scrolling down, I'm actually totally ok if Zed is the only who reads this post. PS...Zed, you are not permitted to simply scroll down. You have to read your way to the bottom babe.

So if you've ever been pregnant (yes Zed, I know you've never experienced this, so keep your comments to yourself) you know how some days are just "I'm a pregnant mess" kind of days. I had one of those earlier this week. Because I'm on bedrest I think that I actually don't have as many of these days as I normally would. There are fewer triggers to turn me into mess-mode. But this week I just needed a day to be hormonal. I just wanted to cry, for no reason at all, no triggers. Basically my body realized it hadn't cried in a while and I just needed to let it out. Nothing sounded good to eat, but I ate all day because I was starving. Even then, nothing made me just feel satisfied. I just felt like I couldn't win. 

My sister had twins, who are now 8, and has become my cry-to. Zed gets emails of all my complaints, but when that doesn't help I call or text my sister how I feel. Because I can guarantee that she understands. No, she wasn't on bed rest at 21 weeks, but she was on bed rest for several weeks before she had her babes. She understands how a twins pregnancy is so much different. Almost everyone I have talked to since finding out that I'm having since has commented about how they always wanted twins, or they wish for it. Not my sister. She's been through it. She has super rough pregnancies that make my normal pregnancies look like a trip to fairy tale land I think. For her to get that "2-for-1" that everyone talks about seemed ideal. No. It's not like that. Twice the baby is twice the sickness, pain, discomfort, worry, and everything else. It has never seemed like a burden to me when I've been pregnant to have to consume extra calories. Heck, bring on this legitimate excuse to eat as much as my squished stomach can handle. Not this time around. Now I can't eat enough. Seriously. I eat until I'm full and can't eat more, but pretty much am still hungry and most likely not consuming enough calories for all 3 of us. My sister was told to eat anything and everything she could handle. Doctors orders to have a daily milkshake. Sounds great, right?

It's hard though. My sister used to tell me she wouldn't wish a twins pregnancy on anyone, because it really is hard. It's hard to not take care of your own kids or house. It's hard to just sit or lay around and zone out. She and I are pretty similar in the fact that we can't hardly focus most days. We both love to read, but I have to be having a pretty good day to be able to mentally focus on a book. So I spend most days with Facebook and Netflix running because I don't have to think so hard (which sounds lame, I'm a smart person, really. I've got a Bachelors degree for crying out loud) I guess I just wanted to put it out there for everyone that is just wishing for twins so they can get 2 babies with one pregnancy, that it's hard. This is nothing like I've experienced before. To all you moms who've done this, the few of you who have had multiple mulitples-pregnancies, I completely commend you. This is hard work, and I just wanted to get that off my chest I guess.

Another thing we've been going through this week is a death. Zed is on the other side of the world, I am 3 hours from home and on bed rest. And in this time Zed's grandpa passed away. He was 85 and has been battling cancer for the last 7 years. He was finally at the end of the battle, and it is best that he has passed on. Zed and I have a pretty solid belief in what LDS members call "The Plan of Salvation". In the most basic terms, I mean Heaven. We know that grandpa is in Heaven and that someday we will be able to join him there. We have that faith and are completely at peace with grandpa's passing at this time. It's been a rough road these last couple of years. The hard part for Zed and I is not being able to physically be there for his services, to support grandma and Zed's parents. We actually were able to live with grandma and grandpa for about 6 months when we were trying to buy a house. It's been 5 years since we lived with them, but only live about 2 miles away now. We are so used to being able to be there for everything grandma and grandpa have going on, that it's kind of a hard pill to swallow to know we can't be a part of memorializing grandpa this weekend. 

Both Zed and I are emotionally exhausted at this point. We were so grateful to get such good news about the babies, mostly because it takes a lot of energy to prepare ourselves mentally to accept hard news about the pregnancy. We were both drained and it would've been tough, so we are grateful for happy news. 

The only pictures I have a grandpa down here are from Facebook. They are both pictures of the 4 generations of oldest boys, all 4 lived in Kanab together, with the same first and last names, for the last 3+ years. I love that my oldest boy is named after his great grandpa and was able to know his so well. 

Rock Stars

I go to the doctor every week. This is the highlight of my week. It's the only time that I really get out of the house. I am always so exhausted afterwards that I email Zed the results of the day and either pass our or zone out for basically the rest of the day. I know a lot of you like to know what happened right away, but really, I am completely spent by time I get home. It's kind of crazy, because when I was pregnant with Otis I would get up and drive 1 1/2 hours to my doctor, have the appointment, go shopping at one or more stores, grab lunch and then drive the 1 1/2 hours home. I seriously spent all day out and about. That includes my last few weeks when I was dilated, I walked around at a 5+ with that kid and didn't go into labor on my own. In comparison, yesterday from the time we left the house, had my appointment drove clear across town to pick up my boys and return home was almost exactly 4 hours. And I spent pretty much the rest of the day on my bed--with the exception of going to the kitchen for homemade pizza and brownies. It is so foreign to me to be so weak and tired. Not like I'm normally a wonder woman, but it is obvious to me how much harder this pregnancy is from the others I've had. My whole body just aches. And I am constantly losing muscle mass, which kills me when I think that I've coach and played volleyball pretty seriously since Otis was only a few months old. Doing nothing is great sometimes, until I realize what I can't do and what I'm going to have to do in the gym to be able to compete against my high school girls again!!

(Shout out to KHS Volleyball, I'll be back ready to block you all soon enough! Can't hardly wait to be in the gym with you guys again!)

Well yesterday's appointment reminded me that these little boys are such rock stars! When I emailed Zed I was just so excited to have good news again. These boys are doing better than ever. They are also moving all over. I told him that they were rocking and rolling all through the ultrasound, which made things very difficult for our tech. Yesterday was supposed to be pretty short at the office because they just wanted to monitor the cords again. But when the babies won't hold still at all, and every time the babies move it moves the cords around it takes a while to monitor the babies' cords and blood flow. But in the end the doc said that things were looking great! I love that news!!

Then I had to make sure that all my aches and pains were normal. My muscles and mostly ligaments are so tender and easy to just hurt. Some of the pains seemed familiar, so I assumed they were pregnancy related, but I'm not used to this much intense pain so early on. Don't worry, I can guarantee they aren't contraction pains. The doctor agrees that these are all just pregnancy pains derived from the ligaments being pulled so tight, so quick-- most women feel this in the later half of the 3rd trimester, so I have felt them before. Basically any movement is painful, walking is difficult sometimes, and just laying around I might get intense abdominal pains across the ligaments. They usually last several minutes, or like the other day 45 minutes, so I know it's not contractions. I'm also to the point that walking is starting to be fairly painful. There is just a lot of pressure on my body with these two little rock stars.

But they are moving like crazy. I am feeling kicks and hits a lot now, and they are strong enough that I get to see my stomach moving a few times a day. Loving these babies and the excitement of bring them home has been so much fun as I get good news!

Otis is a good looking stud

Mr J is back with me and I am so happy! His hair is longer than it's ever been in his life!

Mr J is my sweetie. He loves to just cuddle up and give hugs and kisses all the time

Love having this boy back!

Surprised

After yesterday's doctor appointment I am definitely surprised! After last weeks news that we were needing to keep a close watch on the babies' blood flow by monitoring the umbilical cords all I wanted out of my appointment was minimal to no change. If the blood flow was decreased I just wanted it to be slightly. If I could get out of there with having had no change at all I was going to be pretty excited. 

Nope, I had another first. Positive News! Both babies blood flow and heart rates are right in the normal range for any twins!! We actually had IMPROVEMENT! I honestly didn't even think that was an option. I didn't think it was possible to reverse what we had already seen. Apparently the power of prayer still amazes me. And YES, I greatly attribute this positive change to the great number of prayers that I feel have been prayed on our behalf. Thank you for those. 

For the last 6 weeks I have had Baby A with his head down and Baby B in a breech position. Over the last week Baby A has done quite a few somersaults it's felt like. I credit him because yesterday he was also turned breech. From my understanding-- or at least my experience with my other 2 boys, once the baby gets his head down it's pretty typical for them to stay in that position. They are usually done with the somersaults I thought. Thank goodness this little boy had another roll in him. With both boys now in the breech position, side by side, they have a little more room for movement without pulling so much on their cords.

I couldn't have left the doctors office yesterday with a bigger grin on my face. I was completely surprised that this happened, and I am over the moon with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for blessing us in this manner.

20 weeks and feeling pretty huge. I feel like I've grown a lot in the last week. But in the last 2 weeks I have FINALLY started gaining some weight! I'm now up 5lbs from where I started 5 months ago, but it's coming fast now that I am enjoying food again!

Earlier on, when my complications first started I received Priesthood blessings from some amazing people within my church. The had one blessing before going to the emergency room when I first started bleeding, and my second blessing the day after we officially found out that the babies were Mono-Mono. Both blessings, given by different priesthood holders, essentially mentioned me being able to keep these babies inside of me so that I will be able to deliver them successfully. I'm paraphrasing what was said as well as what I interpreted from these blessings. When I stop and remember the peace that I had when I was told these babes would grow sufficiently I am humbled. 

It is so easy to forget that peace and just focus on all the possibilities. Really, I could deliver the babies at 24 weeks, and they could have lasting mental or physical disabilities. Really, since I will be delivering so early no matter what, there is a fair chance of that happening anyway. The blessings didn't proclaim that my babies would be without hardships. But we continue to pray and to hope that these babies will be given the best opportunities possible. I don't know what the Lord has in store for these babies, but I DO know that He is watching over them, protecting them, and letting me grow in my faith. 

Before Zed left, and a lot since too, we've heard about the "Deployment Gremlins", "If it CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong" theory for the families at home while their soldier is away. We could have looked at so many things with this pregnancy in that light, but we haven't. We have always been able to look at my complications through rose colored glasses I suppose. We strive to see what we are learning, how this is bringing Zed and I closer together as a couple, and closer together with our families and our community. We continue to count our blessings because it has become so apparent of how numerous our blessings are. I personally know that in recent years I haven't been giving myself enough opportunities to let my faith and my testimony grow stronger. This experience has truly let me. I've been so blessed to partake of the sacrament every single week, to teach my kids about it. Now as I am home bound and don't get that opportunity weekly I am more grateful for it. I have always felt that teaching my children about the importance of going to church starts with being an example of someone who values going to church. Yes, they mope about going some weeks, but it's where I've known I'm supposed to be and they are learning that as well. Now they see mom laying in bed on Sunday morning and fight going to church even more because they want to stay at home and do what mom is doing. I am so grateful for parents to take our children to church while I can't. The power of a parents example in all things is a building block for our children.

I know this last bit of today's blog is a little preachy, but it is really what has been on my mind for days to blog about. If anyone has more questions about the Priesthood Power and the blessings that are available ask me, another LDS church member, or visit our church website LDS.org to learn more. Basically, it is amazing. 

Thank you everyone for your continued support for our family and for your prayers on our behalf.

True Love and Patriotism

I was an unusual kid.  At 14 or 15 years old my biggest worry in life was that I would not be able to support my future family when the time came.  Of course at 14 years old I wasn’t going to admit that to anyone, because that was a nerdy thing to worry about.  Now fast forward 16 years and you are reading this blog.  Up until this point I have looked my childhood fear in the face and supported a family for over 7 years.  I always tried to make sure my family was taken care of so we were available to help others when called upon.  The other side of that coin, receiving help, has always made me incredibly uncomfortable.  I always feel there are other people worse off that need help far more than me or my family.  God turned the table on me.  Suddenly my family is in a situation that if others were not helping extensively, we would drown in fear, frustration, and loneliness.

I feel a like I’m in a story that you would read about someone else in the news.  I can imagine the headlines… “Military Wife is overcoming insurmountable odds”, “Military wife balances kids and complicated pregnancy alone”, or “Military Wife fights war overseas by fighting a war for life at home”.  It’s an article I would read.  I would share it with Elyse.  We would talk about how lucky we are.  How glad we were we didn’t have that trial in our lives.  We would talk about how these people are a true example of Love and Patriotism and how glad we are people like those, in the article, exist.

Now we have this trial in our lives.  As we’ve received comments from people reflecting those same things I would have said about someone else in this situation, I am humbled and grateful.  However, I don’t feel we deserve those comments as much as others do.  Our ability to handle this situation is wholly dependent upon the people God sent to help us.  We didn’t choose this trial.  Everyone that is helping us is conscientiously choosing to make this trial a part of their life.  Wouldn’t that make all those helping us the ultimate example of Love and Patriotism?  That would make them deserving of those comments far more than us.  Elyse and I have discussed ad nauseum that we can never repay all the time and help people have provided.  The last thing we want is to be ungrateful recipients of such unconditional love from so many.  I don’t know what to do except say thank you to those picking up my slack, and far more, while I’m gone.  Thank you for not allowing me to fall to my childhood fears.  Thank you for allowing me to grow emotionally, spiritually, and as a person.  Thank you for taking care of my wife, allowing her to grow emotionally, spiritually, and physically… love you Elyse ;)  Thank you for not only caring for our kids but helping them maintain as normal of a life as possible.  Thank you for giving our twin boys a fighting chance!

THANK YOU!

PS : We’re naming one of the babies Elwood, just ask Mr. J  :)

19 Weeks!

With my other 2 pregnancies I rarely thought very much about how many weeks along I was. I didn't have any complications and just saw my OB for regular checkups. At this point I probably would've seen my doctor 3 times. Counting the weeks was never something I did. And I didn't take pictures of my growing belly very often either. For each of my other pregnancies I have probably a half dozen pictures where I am posed for a profile view of my growing baby bump. This pregnancy is different in so many ways. I take pictures when I feel either huge or a little bit pretty. I strive to get a picture off to Zed about every 10 days or less that is aimed with a good belly shot. And Zed, myself, my mom and probably a few other people are counting my weeks faithfully. I am now at 19 weeks.

Usually I would be getting excited for my first and likely only ultrasound to check the baby's heart, pallet, gender and whatever else gets checked out in that ultrasound. This time at 19 weeks I've had at least a dozen ultrasounds and have known for weeks that these are little boys. I also know that their little hearts beat strong, their brains are developing well, and all the other organs we've had a chance to see are doing good at such an early stage. 

Baby B

 o assess

Baby A

I went to the doctor yesterday and we got another look at the boys. They were a lot more photogenic this week than last, that's for sure!  We had a hard time at first deciding which was A and B, because they've moved around some. Last week, though, we had decided that Baby A was head down and is the little guy with the vasa previa; Baby B was sitting up breech. They were not cooperative in comparing last weeks positions to this weeks, so the tech had to trace the umbilical cords to see whose cord went down over my cervix and back up. It was a little extra work. We want to try and keep consistent stats on each baby and not mix them up as much as possible. The doctor tracks size and growth, heart rates and even umbilical cord blood flow. This way they can compare weekly to assess how each baby is doing.

At one point in the ultrasound baby B sat right on top of Baby A. It is always so much fun to watch them move around and be with each other. I'm pretty lucky to get to see them every week moving around.

Well yesterday didn't let us out of the office quite as smoothly as the previous week did. By monitoring the blood flow through the umbilical cords they were able to see that the babies are having to work a little bit harder to get the blood flow that they need. This is because the babies have started to pull their knot of cords just a little bit tighter. Somewhere in the mass of cords are a few little kinks. So blood flow is not going as smooth as we would like.

The babies are still growing and moving and doing good, but it's something that we have to monitor super closely. My doctor showed us the waves of blood flow that we are watching and that if any of my next appointments show the levels dropping to certain levels I will be admitted to the hospital pretty much right away. The struggle is that my babies still are too tiny for any happy percentage of a chance of survival. Right now the goal--which of course we have to control over whether or not I will meet these goals--is to make it to 24 weeks, which for me will be right after Fathers Day next month. At 24 weeks I will be admitted to the hospital because that's the magic number where if I deliver my babies they suddenly have chances of survival, not high chances however. 

Once I am admitted to the hospital I will be hooked up to fetal monitors practically 24/7. I will also then be upgraded from weekly ultrasounds to daily ultrasounds. From there our goal is to make it as far as we can. My doctor didn't sound entirely optimistic about my odds of making it to 32 weeks, so we will just see how far we can go before the stress on these boys gets to be too much.

My doctor is pretty awesome though. I am so glad that he is the doctor that came recommended to me. I love the way he explains things to me. He lets us know that this is a worrisome situation, but that worrying isn't going to help anything and that I need to just be calm about things as much as possible. Since I've come to stay with my mom I've totally been able to just be calm about things, which keeps my blood pressure and heart rate a little more normal I hope! I am on doctors orders to just be a princess right now and let other people worry about everything for me.

My favorite part of the appointment was when my doctor asked my mom and I if we are religious. We are. We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS, Mormon). I know that my doctor is also a member of our church. But without even telling him that we share the same faith, he counseled with us. He testified of the power of prayer. He encouraged us to pray for me and these sweet babies. He told us how much he believes that our Heavenly Father loves us and knows what is going on. He said that he prays for his patients, too. He is a great doctor who brings the spirit with him, and it gives me such and added level of comfort and peace to have a man who is willing to serve and submit himself to our God being my doctor. I know I pray for my babies, for this pregnancy to be successful, for my husband to be safe everyday, for my older boys, as well as for others I know that need help, strength or blessings. But I also ask you to think of us in your prayers. I do have a testimony of the power of prayer. It is amazing. Our Heavenly Father is always waiting to pour blessings upon us, but so often He needs us to ask for them.

After my appointment I was tired and laid down most the rest of the day...hence the hair. But that belly of mine is sure getting bigger!! I'm not even 5 months along yet!

Yesterday I sent Mr. J back home to finish his T-ball season and Preschool year. I am so sad to miss those things, but so incredibly grateful for Zed's mom and her willingness to take Mr. J in for a little while and let him get those experiences and memories in. Thank You Bobbie!!!!!! In the meantime, Otis is very excited to get to be treated like an only child by me and my mom for a little bit. He loves the extra attention and is spending as much time with me as he can. My mom is even able to get some of her office work done while Otis hangs out with me. This morning we played dodgeball in my room. I didn't even have to get out of bed.

No News is Great!!

Yesterday I went to my new doctors office and it was great!!!  First off, my mom only had to drive for about 35 minutes to get to his office, instead of my normal 90 minutes. Then I only had to see one doctor instead of 2 like I was back home. We did our array of ultrasounds, spent time checking in on both little boys and 

EVERYTHING IS GREAT!!!!

By everything is great I really just mean that there is no new news to start researching and worrying about. I am still in the high risk of the high risk pregnancy categories. Baby A still is dealing with Vasa Previa, and both babies' umbilical cords are still tied in an ugly mess. BUT, they are growing at about the same rate which is what we were so concerned about at this point! We can't rule out the Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome entirely, but because they are 18 weeks along and measuring so close to the same we can basically not worry about it, we'll just keep it on the back burner for now. 

This was my biggest concern for this appointment. From what I read this week's ultrasound would give us the best insight as to whether or not we needed to be concerned about TTTS. It is such a relief to leave the doctors office and just see progress. 

I love my new doctor too. Really, he reminds me a lot of my OBGYN that referred me. We didn't get very much time with him yesterday because he had to go deliver a baby, but he did spend as much time as he could introducing himself and talking with me about the tentative plan. We want to monitor these babes pretty close and will likely have appointments and ultrasounds every week for the next 6 weeks. Then when I am 24 weeks along I will be admitted to the hospital for the following 8-ish weeks until delivery.

This part is pretty scary for me. I've never stayed in a hospital for anything except the 1-2 nights after having given birth. I've never had a reason for a hospital stay. No surgeries or anything. So I'm pretty nervous about staying in the hospital for 2 months. It was so nice being on bed rest at home, and even here at my mom's it's been so nice to rest and still have contact with my boys, home cooked meals, etc. It will be an adjustment. 

It's been so neat with all of the ultrasounds we've had to actually see the growth that these babies are going through. It's amazing how a few weeks ago all we could tell was the head and body and maybe some appendages. Yesterday we were counting fingers. It's those little miracles that just keep me positive about this whole situation. 

This is my 5 YEAR OLD!!! I think that is pretty crazy.

Mr J had a great birthday. We Skyped with his dad while he opened presents, and he had Mickey Mouse cupcakes. I am so so grateful that he is so easy to please. I love this sweetheart so much! 

I wasn't the only one super exhausted after my appointment yesterday. I took 2 naps that were the result of complete exhaustion. You know the feeling of going to sleep and letting every molecule in your body just give into that sleep? I don't know if I have ever felt this exhausted, except for after delivering Mr J. But this pregnancy I've been more tired and my body has felt this full exhaustion and given in to sleep several times. It feels so good. Yesterday afternoon as I laid in bed so tired, Otis was so upset with not getting his way, so he came and snuggled up behind me and fell asleep almost instantly. He must have gotten worn out playing at his Aunt Melissa's house all morning while I was at my appointment. I love getting to be around for snuggles and hugs and kisses. I'll miss the bedtime routine with prayers and scriptures, songs and hugs and kisses every night when I'm in the hospital.

We Made It!

After weeks of phone calls with multiple doctors offices and multiple insurance companies, we finally have it figured out. It took a lot of time, more energy than I care to admit and so much frustration, but I was finally able to get transferred to a specialist closer to my mom. I've made the move, and I am here!

Tomorrow is my first appointment with my new doctor and I am excited for it. I am extremely hopeful that we spend a lot of time doing ultrasounds and then the doctor will just confirm everything I already know. And then I'll come back home for a nap.

Mr J and Otis are living being at grandma's house so far. It was so exciting for them to get to make the trip down WITH grandma and grandpa, not just TO them. Today is Mr Js birthday even. We are excited to get to Skype with Zed while Mr J opens his presents this morning. Then tonight we get cupcakes with Mickey heads on them, because that's how my mom saved the birthday. Yesterday was the first time my son told me he wanted a Mickey Mouse cake, so it was a little late for me to do anything about it. But my mom is amazing and is making today great for my now 5 year old!

I want to second what Zed said about a community on his last post. Our community has been amazing. We have been so well taken care of. I've received care packages from friends farther away, my kids have always had somewhere fun to spend their time, and I know my house is taken care of even while I'm away. What blessings we have received from the angels in our lives.

My travel buddy

17.5 weeks

Gremlins Vs Angels

This one is Zed...

I thought I'd take a minute this morning to express my side of this whole shbang.  I've heard from many people in many ways about how deployment seems to cause things to fall apart at home.  I'm taking the terminology from a good friend to use here.  He called it the deployment gremlins.  I know exactly what he is talking about.  He is talking about things like the dryer breaking down, the fridge going out, some extra cost being thrust on you for insurance, etc...  It generally refers to all the bad things that happen back at home while being deployed and you can't do anything about it.  However, I don't think we've had any real deployment gremlins.  Somehow we got deployment angels.  We had a few of our own things happen that are typically seen as deployment gremlins (i.e. Our dryer died), but it happened just right before I left, so I got to deal with it and Elyse didn't have to.  Since actually being deployed, we have had nearly all angels visit us.  Somehow, somewhere, the gremlins have taken a back seat.

Have you ever watched the show "The Adjustment Bureau"?  If not, I highly recommend it.  The basic premise of the story is that there are "agents" assigned by "the big guy".  These agents run around making sure things happen to ensure other things happen.  Fore example, an agent causes a guy to spill his coffee on his shirt on the way out the door to work.  This causes the guy to go back in the house to change his shirt.  This causes the guy to miss the bus or train.  This causes the guy to catch the next bus/train.  This causes the guy to meet a girl.  The rest is happily ever after.  (For you movie people, don't worry, I didn't spoil the show.  That is the opening so you understand the premise).  Anyhow, I feel like that is my life to a Tee.  Especially right now, except we don't have "agents" and a "big guy", we have Angels and God.  Elyse talked about this a little bit in her last post, so I won't belabor the point.  I just thought I'd try and draw a mental picture of how we are viewing this trial we are in.

However, I don't feel like "trial" is a fair word.  I feel like "blessing" is more appropriate.  I'm not going to pretend that things are not hard, but God is letting us handle just enough to make us stronger but not crush us, and He is taking care of the rest for us.  I can't even begin to put into good words, what I'm talking about, so I'll leave it at that.  I want to explain why we are currently in a blessing instead of in a trial.  Before leaving the great town of Kanab (shout out to Kanab, A OH), I prayed, with Elyse, that our family would grow closer together through our separation and that we could strengthen our testimonies and faith in God.  We've barely even started our journey and our testimonies in the power of God of increased significantly.  I guess I can't speak specifically for Elyse, but my faith has strengthened 10 fold.  I feel as though I have literally seen God's hand working in my life.  Some may say, be careful what you pray for, you may just get it. Haha.  I guess you only really grow by doing hard things.    


My last thing I wanted to express is gratitude to everyone who has been helping.  Often we talk about the service member being gone and the sacrifices that are made by the service member.  I think we as a society are getting better at remembering the families that are making the sacrifices too (often much larger and harder than the service member).  But one thing that we as a society forget about is the community.  It takes a community to serve our country.  I think being gone, I have the easiest job of anyone.  I am just gone, I don't and can't do anything at home.  Everyone at home continues their daily load plus bearing my burdens that I left behind.  I become more and more convinced of the importance of community in a deployment.  It is impossible for a wife and kids to handle all the burdens a father/husband leaves behind, when deployed, by themselves.  Each person has a different position and way of serving their country.  To all those that have chose to serve their country through supporting my family with your help, friendship, and ultimately time...I salute you.  You are what makes this country great.  I think you are the true warriors.  Thank you!

And to end...because everyone likes pictures...My selection is limited to what has been sent to me by my lovely wife and mother.

This is one of my favorites.  I know I'm in trouble, probably for something inappropriate I said.  Elyse knows it was inappropriate, so she is scolding me.  But you can see she thinks it's funny too, so I know I'm not truly in trouble :)  Plus there are doughnuts in the picture, so how can it be a bad picture?

Otis with his Warrior Sword

Otis closing his eyes so he doesn't have to see Mr. J's awkward pose. :)

Mr. J and I enjoying the great outdoors.

Otis doing what Daddy taught him best...

Catching a rest while trying to get to where I'm going.

And the good 'ole fashion selfie because I'm want to show off the beard.  Makes me feel like man.

 Thanks again to everyone for everything they are doing for us!!