25 Down, 7 To Go

Every week that I am in the hospital my babies odds of survival goes up, while the odds of having disabilities from premature birth are decreasd. Tuesdays are a big deal for me because that's the day I get to mark another week down!

I have been in the hospital for one week now and am so well taken care of. My mom has come to get laundry, bring snacks and treats and visit everyday so far (except for the one day she wasn't in town, but everybody needs a break sometime). My mom has been so great. My dad has also made a new route home from work to visit me most days. Zeds mom and sister even drove down one day to bring my boys to visit me. And I've gotten lots of calls and texts from more family and friends. This last week I was so so tired I didnt even want company. The little babes are still too small and active to monitor continuously with the monitors that strap to my belly, so I kept up with dopplers every hour. I've been tired. On Sunday one of the other Drs from my doctor's office was on rounds. He had sympathy and switched me to a 4 hour watch, since the babies heart rates have been consistently good for so long. We will keep up with the 4 hour monitors while still trying the continuous monitors a few times every day.

I asked my doctor today how many mono-mono cases he's had in his career. It is rare enough to be 1 in every 10,000 pregnancies, so not every doctor will deal with it. My doctor told me that he has delivered around 27,000 babies in his career and has had about a half dozen mono-mono cases. He's a parinatologist, he only deals with high risk, hard to handle pregnancies. He's been practicing for the majority of my life. And he's had about 6. That just shows how rare this is.

I forget a lot of times how high risky and uncommon my condition is. I just feel fine-at least as fine as I can while being pregnant; the babies are growing; the babies are active. I dont feel like things are risky. But the doctor helps me remember that so many things can happen so fast in this situation. Today he even reminded me that I was very likely HOURS away from these two boys being conjoined. I forget how close I was to being even more high risk.

HOWEVER, right now we are doing great. My nurses are all amazing! Like, I seriously just love them! The housekeeper for my room is the sweetest lady. The food service people are so nice. I will say that it is pretty standard hospital food, so snacks and treats are more than welcome in my room!

So today I am finally at 25 weeks, and just need to keep these boys nice and calm for 7 more weeks. They are still turning a lot. I get a few ultrasounds each week. Last week they started out breech then moved to head down by the end of the week, but yesterday were both breech again. Some days we can find them in the same spot with tbe doppler several times in a row, then suddenly the baby will be in a totally different spot. It's great that they are moving so much- it indicates that they are healthy and strong. Howevet, this is also what we need to avoid. I'm on bed rest because the more calm I stay, the less adrenalin the babies get and the calmer they can be. Right now we need them calmer to reduce the amount of pressure the can apply to their cords or less the can continue to tie thdm up.

With the information that I have from my dr as well as the NICU dr here,  my hope and goal is to have these babies, and myself, back at home at the end of September. So hopefully everyone will be excited for our return in another 3 months!

I even left on my leg compressors to show off!

When my boys came to visit! It was fantastic.

The whole gang

On their way to see me. 

These boys are having the best summer ever!

This one LOVES his animals.

Father's Day 2015

So this morning started out tough for me. It's primarily because I'm a hormonal mess, amplified by pure exhaustion- yesterday I got to see my kids for a few short hours, but it wore me out; also since I got admitted to the hospital there is a nurse in my room every hour to check the babies heart rates. Being so tired makes the littlest things turn me into a crying banshee. So today it was Fathers Day. I just wanted to be able to make the day something special for Zed. It's been hard on our family to be separated. I just wished that the boys and I could help him know and understand how much we appreciate the sacrifices that he has been making for us and how much we love him.

But, I couldn't really do that, because I was a wreck. Even when I had a chance to Skype with Zed I wasn't the upbeat supportive wife that I should've been, which he already knows I am sorry about. But I wanted everyone to know how amazing Zed is as the father of our kids. He doesn't get very many days to go hunting or enjoy his hobbies, but so often he volunteers to take one or more of our boys with him-which is totally counterproductive, but an amazing bonding experience. He teaches our boys how to go on adventures and get dirty, a task I am less dilligent in. Zed always lets our kids help him work, whether it's in the garden, chopping wood, on the roof, the boys are being taught how to work at home. One of the most important things Zed teaches our boys is how to love their mom. He is an amazing example to them. And Zed teaches everyday how to live his testimony of the gospel.  Zed, I love you. Thank you for all you do for our boys!

Settling In

So I've been in the hospital for almost 24 hours now. Oh boy is this going to take some getting used to! Everything and everyone has been so great so far.

Yesterdays first task was to hook up fetal monitors. So I donned my gown and we got started. Yeah, little problem there. These babies still have so much moving room that they weren't staying under the monitors. Also they are still so tiny that unless they were directly under the monitors we couldn't pick up their heart rates. After trying almost conistantly to chase babies with the monitors my doctor came in and realized it wasn't going to happen. So instead I get to have hourly dopplers. It's a win-lose really. It is SO MUCH EASIER to do literally everything without being hooked up to the fetal monitors.  I mean laying on my side (basically my only position), going to the bathroom with a mass of tangled cords, etc. Nothing was simple those 4 hours yesterday. But now I can move. It's so nice. Im going to enjoy it as long as i can. Probably just another week or so. We will see! The losing side is that the nurses have to come in hourly to use the doppler- a handheld device to find the babies heart rates. This included every hour of the night. I'm now itching for a nap,  but not until after breakfast. I'm  starving!

My room is huge and I've got 2 great big windows which is awesome since I love natural light. Yedterday I also got stuck with an IV port in my hand, but my doc recommended considering a pickline instead. I guess the ports are only good in a vein, or spot, for like 3 days. I'm going to be here a while so I'd go throughthem fast. Right now I don't need any IVs but the port is a precaution.

I also got some sweet ankle weights yesterday. My new constant companions. To help prevent blood clots I have basically calf vibrators on each leg. It stimulates my leg about every 30 seconds. So even though I'm not hooked up to the fetal monitors I am attached by the leg. It's not so bad though.  This machine only beeps in my room when I disconnect it, so the nurses don't come check everytime I use the bathroom or change clothes. Yes, I'm wearing clothes instead oc the gown since I'm not twist tied to the monitors. This is living large.

Getting comfortable after the monitors came off

24 weeks officially! 24w should not sound like such a big accomplishment, but it is!

My lovely port

Selfies while the nurses were busy for 2 services and the admissions lady was organizing papers. 

I am also getting steroid shots to help the babies lungs develop. I had one shot yesterday, get another this afternoon, and 2 more when its closer to delivery.

So yesterday I got some sweet updates of what my boys are upto. They are visiting Grandma Christensen and looks like having tons of fun!

Grandma's walker is the best!

Otis is a cutie

I Love how Mr J bonds with his great grandparents so easily!

Flying Solo

This morning my boys took off to spend the next month back at home. I'm headed to the hospital in a few days so I sent them away first. They've had a tough year so far. Dad left on deployment, and mom checked out to be on bed rest for the last few months. I decided it would be best if I didn't leave then for the hospital, but they left me, THEN I went to the hospital. When they come back to my mom's I'll just be somewhere else for them to come visit.

Yesterday and this morning both of my boys were extra sweet and snuggly. I got more hugs and kisses than normal too. It was the best. Mr J and Otis also made a special point to give some extra live to the babies. I just love it when Mr J hugs my belly then talks to his little brothers inside. It's too sweet.

Before the boys left I asked them to take a picture with me. Otis climbed right up by me and said "you, me & the babies". So we got some pictures with my belly in them too. I love how much these sweet boys love their unborn brothers.

Otis, mom, and the babies

Family picture

Mom and Mr J

PS...... These babies kick a lot. It is so fun to feel them. I've felt my other babies kicking, but having 2 kicking is a whole other experience. I feel when each baby moves, when they kick me, when they are fighting with each other.  I can feel one baby pushed up against my right side really hard, and the other baby kicking me in a totally different spot. Otis likes to pretend to feel them kick and they always kick his hand completely off my belly he thinks. He also tried to convince me that they kicked him on the head when he was leaning against me. He is so creative, just didn't understand that I feel more baby movements than he does. Seriously though, it is so neat to feel a baby move inside you. Men, you are missing out.

Summer

So just the other day I was telling Zed how bizarre it is to realize that I am missing an entire summer. I already missed out on planting new flowers in my yard and tomatoes in my garden. I always think it's kind of funny how much I look forward to planting tomatoes in my garden, because I don't like tomatoes. I do okay with tomato based sauces, and love making them from tomatoes I've grown. It comes back to my dad. He doesn't like tomatoes either, but he grew them in his garden every year because he liked watching them grow. I'm just following his example. I love spending time in my garden all summer, watching everything grow, harvesting the fruits of all that labor, sharing tomatoes with anyone who wants some. That's summer.

This year I've hardly been outside at all. My Dr added vitamin D supplements to my list of daily pills because of it. I'm missing out on taking my boys swimming, which I really really love. I'm missing out on sitting on my porch during the summer rainstorms and watching the boys play in the rain.

So while I'm laying here, thinking of what I'm missing out on, my sister, without hearing my sob story, planned a swim party. My sister planned a get together for my boys to play with their cousins before heading back home to Grandma Bobbie's for a while.

This was the perfect day. I couldn't sit outside with everyone nearly as much as I would've liked, but I was having a really good day and got to be outside with them so much more than I expected to be able to. My sister came with her 5 kids, my sister in-law brought her 4 kids and there was my 2 boys. My mother had exactly half of her grandchildren running around together.

Yes, my mother has 22 grandchildren right now. And of course 2 more on the way. And she is a fun, amazing Grandma for all of her grandchildren. She has spent hours playing pirates with Otis, Lego's with Mr J, and games with both. She is actively involved with her grandchildren and I love it!!

It was so nice the other day to sit outside, to be a part of what my kids were doing, and visit with my family.

Otis was obsessed with his cousins' goggles. Mr J had a total blast with his cousins. We ate pizza, watermelon, chips (or "pips" according to Otis), popsicles, ice cream sandwiches, and had a blast!

Thanks Melissa and Nicole for giving me 1 day of summer. It was the very best day!

The whole crew! Jared is hiding out by the chairs, but he is there. 

It was a great summer day.

23, 1, & 9

I am 23 weeks along, only have 1 week before I move onto the hospital, and have 9 (or fewer) weeks before these babies are born.

O Wow.

So on the left (or top) is a picture of me at 36 weeks with Mr J (my oldest). I wore the same shirt for yesterdays appointment (on the right) at 23 weeks with twins. Whoa! there is a similarity for sure!

Otis fell down the stairs while fighting with monsters and ended up with this awesome black eye. It's pretty impressive.

Mr J just doing his thing

Otis with his shiner

We like Ninja Turtles just a little bit!

Riding Bikes in Grandma's backyard

I love getting to watch movies with my boys. Yeah, I usually pick up a book or something since we only pick movies that we've seen a hundred times, but I love getting to be close to my boys!

So my biggest concern over the last several days, which will continue over the next couple, is my complete worry over moving into a hospital. I was on bed rest in my own home for about 5 weeks. I've been on bed rest in my mom's home for 6 weeks. And I'm hoping to be on bed rest, keeping these babies healthy for 8 weeks (I know it said 9 earlier, but I still have a few days before I'm admitted, so I'll only be there 8 of the 9 weeks left in my pregnancy).

I have only ever stayed in a hospital before when I delivered my other 2 boys. Those stays were both over night and back home. With this I am practically taking up residency in a hospital!

So those of you who have had extended hospital stays, or have worked in a hospital maybe, what are some words of advice? The nurse at my Drs office recommended bringing my own pillow and then not bringing that pillow home after. I think I really want your input! So comment or Facebook me or something! Thanks.

These babies are still looking good. Baby B had his feet right in Baby As face again this week. B was curled up in basically a corner (pushing on some ligaments-ow) and I'm pretty sure had some leverage so he could stretch out and Baby A couldn't push him away. That's how it looked to me anyway. They are both pretty active these days, and I absolutely love it. I love when I can rub my belly and feel a head or bum or something pushing on my side. I love watching my belly move with some of their tougher kicks (I've tried to video this for Zed or get my boys to come see, but the twins have some stage fright I guess, because it hasn't worked out yet).

I am doing great. Tired and sore, but so grateful for healthy babies at this point! We have been warned though, that the bigger these guys get, the more likely we are to run into problems with the cords. Which is why I'm going to the hospital at 24 weeks. I'll be hooked up to monitors pretty much all the time and I'll have ultrasounds a few times a week. Zed and I still haven't settled on names yet for these guys. However, Otis is sure that we will name one Raphael-after the Ninja Turtle. So any input on this is also encouraged. The more names floating in our heads the more likely we are to pick one of the names we have come up with  already! Haha.

Feeling the Feels

With this deployment I have heard one if my fellow "single wives" mention a few times that we just need to "feel the feels". Basically, it's OK to just let our emotions run their course sometimes. I mean, we can't let our emotions run their course ALL the time because, well let's face it, what a mess that could become for everyone around us!

Yesterday was one of those days I just needed to feel my feelings. I'm pregnant, but because I don't DO anything ever I'm not worn out quite as often as I normally would be in pregnancy so my emotions don't get out of control like they have a tenancy to in pregnancy. But yesterday I was just tired. I woke up after a full nights sleep (I think) feeling wiped out. I ate even when I didn't feel hungry because logically I know I need food pretty much all the time (I try to eat something about every hour in the day time, especially since I'm mostly snacking all day). By the early afternoon I was just tired and in full pity party mode. I even got online with the other wives whose husbands are with mine and whined. I really hate whining. I just complained about the fact that I have been on bed rest for 10 weeks (whoa, that's a long time!) and the only thing making it worse is knowing my husband isn't around to help make things better.

These other wives understand because every time they have a crappy day or a sick kid they are flying solo too. The difference is, because of being on bed rest I have someone else around to help with my kids all the time. The other wives & moms are really doing it all alone. I just lay in bed all day. They, and lots of other people, mention to me how what I'm doing is hard. For the most part, what I'm doing IS rough, but what these other moms do, playing mom and dad while missing their husbands immensely and keeping everything together ALL BY THEMSELVES, that is hard. They really deserve some recognition for what they do everyday.

So yesterday got better after I took a nap and took things really easy for the rest of the day. I keep being surprised at all the things I am physically incapable of doing right now. I have been on bed rest for 10 weeks and have lost basically all my muscle. I am weak. Really weak. I also have a little problem with my hips being rotated (last year we figured out what was wrong so I did physical therapy, but I've lost all the muscle holding things in place) so moving is hard. Like even lifting my legs up is hard work. Also because of the twins my pelvic bone has started spreading a little sooner, and that is just painful to walk on. That's one of those things that usually is experienced in the later part of the 3rd trimester, but I'm feeling now.

So with realizing how physically pathetic I am right now I've started thinking about all the hard work I'm going to have to put into myself to get back to a "normal" place for me. To start getting strong enough to play volleyball again I'm going to have to do a lot of strength training as well as cardio. I've never been weak like this before, so I have no real concept of how hard this will be, especially with 2 new babies and 2 big boys.

Another thing I will have to work at is my music. Since being with my mom I have sat down at her beautiful piano maybe a dozen times. It takes ab muscles to sit at the piano. Even more so at the organ, where you are using your feet so much more. I have played organ in our church meetings many times over the last few years, but in January I started learning how to REALLY play the organ, the right way. Most people in the congregation wouldn't know the difference, unless they play the organ, then they know I've been cheating. But I just started learning the right way, was in a practice routine and had to stop. That's going to be hard to pick back up because it takes real practice to play the organ. And I like it!

 So in conclusion, I just have been having a little pity party. Not everyday is sunshine and good news. Faith doesn't come easily every minute of every day. Sometimes I am just as weak emotionally as I truly am physically. I always overcome it though. I just needed to put all my feels out there somewhere.

Who's Counting?

As my doctor asked me yesterday how many more weeks until 24 weeks. I was able to easily calculate 2 more weeks and a day. I must have calculated really fast because he laughed at the large pregnant lady and asked, "but who's counting, right?"

This week was another great week at the doctor. The babies continue to surprise us with their awesomeness. Zed was able to Skype in with us in this appointment, which I thought was awesome. It was the middle of the night for him, and he has roommates, so he just sat in his room quietly watching the pictures. He said it was cool so I just assumed that he had a good enough view of the screen.

Yesterday we did ultrasounds of the babies to check up their full anatomy. They are measuring almost right on track. I was 21w6d and the measurements were coming in at 21weeks and between 3&5 days. One baby weighs about 14oz and the other 15oz. Almost a pound each is pretty good considering how far along I am. Everything was looking good though.

They were tough little babies though. Or at least they are going to be tough little babies. During the ultrasounds they didn't hold still very well while getting their heart rates and checking cord flows. They were moving all over the place. While watching, sometimes it was obvious that one moved because the other kicked it.  One of the babies had turned back around to a head down position this week, but like I said before, everything still looks great. They were laying one on top of the other with feet in each others face, and the occasional bum on the face.

In order to more easily follow the umbilical cords we got to do some 3D (or is it 4D?) ultrasounds which are awesome. While doing this we saw that one baby is totally a thumb sucker. The thumb sucker was getting kicked in the face a lot and we got to watch him pushing at his brother's legs and feet to move him. They both were really moving, pushing, and kicking a lot through the whole thing. It's so cool to feel a kick and watch the effects on the screen at the same time.

One really interesting that we saw in the 3D imaging was the mass of cords that are all tangled up. In the regular ultrasound shots we can see the cords all twist tied together when they are watching blood flow and we see the red and blue colors all interwoven. But the 3D image made it more evident to me what kind of knots we are really taking about. Parts of it look braided, but then there's extra loops and twists and it's all so thick! Basically, I feel like it's a complete miracle in and if itself that these babies are getting enough of everything to be as active as they are.

Hands on his face, and brothers foot on his head

Our thumb sucker

Great profile shot

First hand print?

I'm pretty sure that is his brothers foot on his head again. They are in pretty close quarters.

Loved these views!

We also saw that the Vasa Previa veins are still in place, but they aren't a concern unless I go into labor on my own. So I am just going that I am consistent. With my other 2 pregnancies I didn't go into labor until 40+ weeks. So let's hope that I don't try going into early labor at all with this pregnancy.

21w 6d

So I am up in the middle of the night now. For no good reason my body just decided sleeping at night was totally overrated. So I'm blogging from my phone. I'll try to come re-read this soon and check for typos, but forgive me if I haven't done that yet!

When I got home I was of course, totally spent. For those of you who don't know, when you ate pregnant your pelvic bone spreads. With my other 2 pregnancies I didn't feel the effects if this until I was massively pregnant, in the later part of my 3rd trimester. Well with twins I feel it pretty seriously now. Walking and getting into a standing position are so painful and hard. The return of my back and hip problems doesn't help at all. Unless I am laying on my bed I am uncomfortable. And I complain about it a lot to Zed. Pretty much everyday has 1 email to him telling him how much I hurt.

Last night I felt pretty lucky though. My doctor told us a few weeks ago that I am to act like a princess. My mom told that to my boys and now it's part of a lot of their games, that I'm the princess and I'm likely sleeping. Otis even calls me princess quite I bit, I could get used to it. Last night at dinner I mentioned being a princess to my dad who appropriately responded that, of course I am a princess at his house! I love getting to be my daddy's princess. But last night my dad brought me a fresh apricot off his tree in the back yard. I mentioned to my mom how good it was. Well apparently the princess got a fresh apricot, but my mother didn't. I am sure getting some special treatment. I could get used to it.

Grandma let Mr J use one of her blankets. He is almost as attached to it as Otis is to his blanket. Ok, that's not even possible, but he has fun with it!

Crazy Ates is their favorite game. I love that my mom will play games with these guys, even Bear.

21w 5d Mirror shot. My shirt says "I Make Cute Babies".

Last night in the middle of the night when I was awake and wondering the house I found the boys sleeping very similarly to this (this is them earlier in the day). 

My kids love playing cards games with grandma. They play Crazy Ates about a dozen times a day. And Otis' Bear gets dealt a hand almost every time too. I took the picture of the boys wrestling a few hours before my appointment. My mom and I were reminded of Mr J and Otis a lot watching Baby A and Baby B wrestling. I guess I'd better be ready for a while house full of active crazy little boys!