The first week of April is when this pregnancy started to get really complicated. I had an appointment an hour and a half away with a parinatologist at his super fancy ultrasound in maternal and fetal medicine. Because of being on bed rest, so far away from my appointment and the general likelihood of my emotions getting the best of me I had a fantastic friend rework her entire day to take me to this appointment. My ultrasound lasted about an hour an a half. We saw two healthy little boys. Yes, at 14 weeks we could see they were boys. That happens when the ultrasound wand is going over your stomach for 90 minutes, you see a lot of angles. Each baby gave us a clear and distinct view. I was a little surprised! After having 2 boys I kind of expected girls, but I am happy for them. We are good at boys in our home.
The top reason for having this ultrasound was to find a membrane separating the babies within my uterine sac. We were hoping, kind of against all odds at this point, that they would each have their own amniotic sac. We didn't find one. We were prepared for this diagnosis. Zed and I as well as other family members had started doing research on what is termed "mono-mono (mo-mo) twins" This diagram (found on Wikipedia) explains pretty well how this happens and what that means. Like I mentioned before, the way you get identical twins is when a single egg gets fertilized and then splits into 2 different babies. Depending on what day after fertilization the egg splits decides what condition the babies will grow in. Mono-mono (the 3rd image down) is my case. The egg split late enough that only one placenta (monochorionic) is evident to be there. Also, monoamniotic, only one amniotic sac for the twins to be in.
There are several serious concerns with this. It is pretty rare. Only about 1 out of every 100 identical twins are mono-mono. Only about 1 out of every 10,000 pregnancies are mono-mono. So it's not unheard of, but it is not common. The first and biggest concern is that the babies are feeding off of one placenta. It is possible for one baby to take more nutrients than the other leading to developmental deficiencies. One baby may actually end up transfusing his blood through the placenta to the other baby (Twin to Twin Transfusion) which can be quickly fatal for both babies. Both of the severe cases are made very difficult to monitor since the babies are in the same amniotic sac. The Drs now have to look at baby measurements and bladder sizes opposed to being able to evaluate the amniotic fluid levels more easily.
On top of this is the biggest concern for me at this time. The umbilical cords. Because the babies are free to swim and flip and turn around each other the risk of cord entanglement increases. But not just for the babies to become entangled in the cords, but also for the cords to become tangled on each other. The Dr told me that usually when mono-mono- babies are delivered the umbilical cords are tied up in knots and look like giant braids or something. It didn't paint a pretty picture. Right now we know from ultrasounds that the umbilical cords are already looking like one big mass twist tied together. If one of the babies pulls to hard or something, then the oxygen and nutrition supply is cut off. I wouldn't even know until my next ultrasound if something happened to these little guys.
Most days I get to feel one or two distinct kicks, sometimes I'm pretty sure I felt a somersault, but really they are too small still to feel very much. So I can't even monitor it very well.
In most of my research most of the women with mono-mono babies are admitted to the hospital for regular if not 24 hour monitoring between weeks 24 &26. They deliver most regularly around week 32, if they made it that far.
I picked "A Warrior at Heart" as it randomly popped in my mind and seemed to perfectly describe our entire family and what we have to be to make it through this. It is very possible that my babies will not survive this pregnancy. It is very possible that they will survive and have lasting mental or physical disabilities. It is also possible that we will come home victorious with 2 healthy, happy, hungry little boys. We have so much faith in the latter option being for us, but know that we can handle any circumstance. I know I have to have a warriors heart to do what is best for my babies. To fight for them in the Drs offices, with the insurance. To fight for their best outcome by sending my 2 wonderful boys off to play with friends and family everyday and not be the one to care for them right now. It takes a warriors heart to be on bed rest, turn down opportunities, and ask others for help. It takes a Warriors Heart to be serving your country, on the other side of the world from your family, when that family is in such rare circumstances. It takes Zed having a Warriors Heart to calm and comfort me to know that we as a family can handle anything, even this crazy trial we have to endure for this year. It takes little Warrior Hearts to know that mommy can't get out of bed to play catch or go to the park, but can only stay in bed and read books. It takes little Warrior Hearts to be messenger to grandma for mommy, and to go to different houses every day of the week so mom can stay in bed. And it also takes TINY Warrior Hearts for these unborn babes to be strong. To defeat the odds that are constantly stacking up against them. It'll take Warrior Hearts for active 3.5 oz babies to be less physical, and move less for the safety of themselves and their brother.
My little family is ready to be a Warrior at Heart. No one should have to be in a position to make the decision to become Warriors at Heart, but when you are placed in that moment, and everyone has to be, we must choose to be the Warrior that will come out with our heads held high, after doing everything we can to provide the best outcome for all of us.
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| My Little Warriors |
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