Today is an AWESOME mile stone for us! 30 WEEKS!!!!!!
In 2 weeks I will be having these 2 little guys. I am so excited and incredibly nervous too! I don't think that I ever had this many mixed up emotions in my other pregnancies. I am ready to have my body back-- in the sense that right now I can literally barely walk. Walking is painful. Sitting is painful. And lately I'm in pain just laying down. I move around just to give one pain relief in exchange for a different pain. The babies are constantly pushing on something and often it causes a charlie-horse kind of pain in my stomach that I have to curl up and rub out until that baby can or will move off my ligament. Then of course, there is the world I miss. I miss my home, doing things, eating edible food (because let's face it, this hospital food is not going to be missed ond little bit!), and just being normal.
But here's the thing, I would stay pregnant, deal with all these things that drive me crazy and seriously hurt, if it was at all safe for these babies to stay put and grow some more. You can ask Zed, I have a little melt down every day because these babies are so tiny and are going to need so much help after they are born. If it was safe for them to stay where they are to grow bigger and healthier and stronger I would gladly lay in this bed for another month or two. I tell Zed just how guilty I feel everytime I make a comment about being able to 'hardly wait till my c-c-section' or 'can't we mive delivery up a week?' I feel terrible for tbese thoughts because everyday I keep these babies in me is equivalent to 3 days in the NICU.
I know that these 2 boys will be safer in two weeks in the NICU than in me though. I had my parinatologist in SG tell me that he has seen mono-monos pass away by waiting from 32 weeks to 33 weeks. Which realistically is extremely possible to happen at ANY point in the pregnancy, but the statistics show that 32 weeks is THE BEST time to deliver. And also with those stats, my babies have the same odds of survival and lasting problems by being delivered at 32 weeks and having a 24/7 NICU team, as any other baby has by being delivered at full term.
Zed and I asked my doctor the other day about another doctors comments of me "breaking records". We were then told that about 90% (Zeds and mine previous internet research said more of 70-85%) of mono-mono twins miscarry before 20 weeks. We really are doing well making it this far with these guys. We also did the math of the odds of someone having mono-mono twins AND having vasa-previa. Both conditions typically result in bed rest, and likely hospital time before delivering. Both also require a c-section. The odds of having both in one pregnancy are 1-in-20,000,000. Yes I typed that many "0"s on purpose. 1 in 20 million.
We are feeling very grateful that though so many of the odds are not in our favor, we have been able to have a successful pregnancy thus far. We are confident that being in this hospital and having transferred to my current doctor were the absolute best things we could've done to make this pregnancy go as well as it has. We are MOST grateful for all of the prayers that have been offered on our behalf. We are confident in saying that prayers work. Heavenly Father has blessed us immensely because of the faith and prayers of our many friends, family, and strangers. Thank you.
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